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Exotica erotica is rife in online dating.
Plenty of women of colour will tell you that they’ve had near encounters with white guys just wish to tick another competition off their bucket that is sexual list.
Most of us sigh and move ahead.
But one black blogger that is irishn’t standing for it anymore.
Filomena Kaguako has written a open letter to demand men stop fetishising her.
She joined dating web site Plenty of Fish to try and find ‘something serious’ – but has because been forced to delete the app after discovering that many regarding the guys it’s like to have sex with a black woman on it just wanted to see what.
‘I have been around in Ireland for 17 years and I’ve been trying to find males who don’t examine me personally and just see the fact I’m black colored,’ Filomena says.
‘ I want them to check out me being a person that is whole.
‘I’ve noticed that Irish men fetishise black women. I think this is because in Ireland interracial relationships aren’t as common as other areas.’
She states that the main reason many males approach her is basically because sex by having a black colored girl is viewed as something new – unlike males in places like London or New York.
‘It’s about being looked at ( as a black colored girl), as just a statistic or something to tick a bucket list’ off.
So, Filomena has published a letter that artist adult dating is open her web log to your men of Ireland:
There’s more to us than our colour.
There’s more to us than our looks.
There’s more to us than the human body which you have unjustly exotified because you refuse to look at what we could offer you intellectually.
We have depth. We’ve character. We’ve value.
So please stop sexualising us.
Us you don’t make us feel beautiful when you sexualise. You don’t make one feel special. You don’t make you feel unique. You make us feel such as an object you will sooner or later get annoyed of and toss out after having derived maximum pleasure from us.
Stop sexualising us.
Because when you sexualise us you are merely reminding us that you don’t actually see us. You do not see us for what or whom we are. The truth is absolutely nothing over a physical aspect of us. The thing is a carnel desire and somebody with who you intend to explore your insatiable black girl fetish.
Stop sexualising us.
Since when you sexualise us we can’t assist but wonder just how much longer you’ll stick around after you obtain fed up with the pigment of our skin.
Stop sexualising us.
Because when you sexualise us you are damaging our spirit. Tearing up our heart. You’re instilling an insecurity that we should be proud of in us about something.
Stop sexualising us.
A conquest, a tool because when you sexualise us you’re telling us that we will never amount to anything more than a checklist.
It is degrading. It’s diminishing. Its devaluing.
So why would you continue steadily to sexualise us?
I will be not just a commodity.
I will be not really a automobile for you really to try out one day since you’ve arrive at the realisation which you’ve yet to use a black one.
We wasn’t brought to this globe to explore your curiosity that is sexual and don’t exist to fulfil your intimate requirements.
Dear Irishman, the time that is next set your green eyes on me, keep in mind this:
There’s more to me personally than my color.
There’s more to me personally than my looks.
There’s more to me than the human anatomy because you refuse to look at what I can offer you intellectually that you have unjustly exotified.
I’ve level. I’ve character. I’ve value, so please stop sexualising me.
Filomena states: ‘To me, commenting on my battle as though it really is relevant at all is devaluing and demoralising.
‘Over the previous couple of months, since we downloaded an abundance of Fish, Tinder and OK Cupid, I’ve been experiencing this type of mindset.
‘Men will talk to me and state they think I’m beautiful and sexy, but it’s more often than not due to my battle.
‘I’ve had it from the number of people – maybe seven or eight away from 10 guys will touch upon the actual fact I’m black colored. It’s a really large number.’
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She claims that she’s had ladies calling her off the back of her post, saying that they’ve skilled the thing that is same.
‘This is not just black colored women though – it’s Asian women too. It is not only me personally experiencing this.
‘Because of dating in the past to my experiences, it’s coloured all of the interactions I’m likely to have with men in the future.’
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